12 Strict Parole Board Rules for O.J. Simpson's Freedom
1. No more poker night with Mark Fuhrman.
2. No killing before 11 p.m.
3. No selling of prisonwear on eBay
4. No pranking new neighbors with chalk outlines on driveway.
5. Meetings with real killer must be supervised by Goldstone and Kushner.
7. Lose the Blahniks.
8. Yes: Internet porn. No: Internet sports memorabilia.
9. Line of available sick women must not block sidewalk.
11. Cosplay costumes must not cover face.
12. Yes: This is Us. No: Game of Thrones.