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Baby, It's Cold Outside 2017

Just for starters, “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” is no more a Christmas song than Joni Mitchell’s “River.” Or “Won’t You Come Home, Bill Bailey.” They're both about crummy relationships, their tempo is decided un-Christmasy, and, you certainly can’t take them door-to-door with the Lions Club Carolers (in these home invasion days, most people are hiding behind the couch when they hear sixty people clearing their throats on the front porch).  Admittedly, “River” does offer some dreamy winter imagery of escaping on ice skates after the family Christmas dinner, but “Baby, It’s Cold Outside"? It was already a creep show on Cosmopolitans, so if it’s going to be sung at Christmas parties and middle school holiday programs as a holiday song, then let’s get rid of the boozy flirtation and make the lyrics a little more...relevant. Because these days, baby, it's deathly cold inside, too.
Baby, It's Cold Outside, 2017 I really can't stay (but baby, it's cold outside)
I've …

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