Recovered mannequin stolen from Macy's window believed to be Jared Kushner

 NEW YORK - A mannequin stolen in a rip-and-run robbery has been identified as White House adviser Jared Kushner.  The heist from the Macy's department store in Herald Square was pulled off in broad daylight Friday. Wearing an $500 black Kenneth Cole slim-fit suit, "Kushner" disappeared from the men's department sales floor just after noon. The mannequin was recovered unharmed from the backseat of an Uber car. The driver is being held by the NYPD.

Though the White House was grateful that the business whiz was returned to his office no worse for wear, several sources close to Kushner's wife, Ivanka Trump, said that Mrs. Kushner is shaken and still unconvinced that the mannequin is indeed her husband.

"It's going to take a couple more days of conversation and protracted interaction with office staff before the mannequin can be confirmed as Kushner himself," said one staffer. Meanwhile, White House employees and guests have spent the past day parading past his office and staring at the grinning mannequin.

Kushner was recently given the administration role of leading the White House Office of American Innovation. His disappearance was masked by reports of his presence in Iraq over the weekend setting up a Trump casino on the site of the former Iraq National Museum in Baghdad, where thousands of priceless historical artifacts were destroyed during the 2003 invasion.

"That thing in the office sure looks like him," said head of White House security Godfrey Wills. "We're just glad to have him back, whatever he is."


Popular Posts