James Cameron Weds Self

Mega-movie auteur James Cameron, basking in the glow of generally favorable reviews and big box receipts for his latest film, Avatar, announced today that he has married himself in a small, private ceremony in Santa Barbara.

"We were surprised but it makes total sense," said Avatar costar and guest Zoe Saldana, "Jim's been going with himself for a long time, and it seemed right to finally seal the deal."

Sigourney Weaver, another Avatar costar and star of Cameron's 1986 Aliens, giggled as she described Cameron and his new bride as "being just like a couple of teenagers, even after this long."

Cameron had met his new wife fifteen years ago on the set of True Lies when he was recovering from a painful divorce from director Kathryn Bigelow (who utilized the experience to make her best movie about war, ego, and defusing explosives). Bigelow could not have been happier for the new couple. "I think he's finally, after all these years, found someone he can completely devote himself to," Bigelow said.

The difference between this and any of his previous excursions into matrimony is simple, said Weaver. "His new bride listens to him," Weaver said. "Jim has a lot to say, and at last he found someone who's completely enthralled with him and his work."

The Camerons will reside in Beverly Hills in a house he has owned for several years. Honeymoon plans were not announced, but luxury "lovers" suite was reserved for a week at the Four Seasons Hotel under the name "Jack Dawson."

Lightstorm Entertainment, Cameron's production company, issued a brief press release and a statement from Cameron. "The sixth time's the charm--this time we're gonna make it work."

Cameron's current wife, actress Suzy Amis, said she didn't know if there was room enough in the new arrangement to accommodate the three of them, but that she "only wants what's best for Jim, which is always what's best for Jim."


Popular Posts