BP Tries New Approach After "Junk Shot" Failure

Slidell, La.--After last week's "junk shot" attempt to staunch the oil leak off the Gulf Coast failed, British Petroleum announced this morning yet another strategy for stemming the catastrophe. "We're placing 'FREE OIL' signs on highways around the region," said BP spokesperson Melville Tuckett, "and we expect that the public's demand for light sweet crude will keep up with the tide of new oil reaching the shore every day."

BP said an ad campaign, "FREE OIL!" has been quickly created by the Foster Taylor agency. According to an agency spokesperson, the ads are a two-pronged play off the counterculture movement of the 1960s to free The Chicago Seven and Huey Newton. "We're hoping that people will see "FREE OIL!" as a way to beat the system by getting something of value during these difficult economic times."

BP has set a limit of 25 barrels per day per consumer, and hopes to recoup some of its losses by setting up a temporary refining station where the oil can be exchanged for gasoline coupons. "BP prides itself on innovation," Tuckett said. "We see this as a win-win for consumers, and a way to handle a horrific ongoing disaster for the next couple of months till we get a better idea."