20 Common Deathbed Regrets and Revelations

Betty Tibbetts, a grandmotherly type who for the past 30 years has worked as a nurse for the dying, has written her memoirs, entitled This is Where I Get Off.  The book will be published by Morte Bella Press in the fall.

One chapter titled, "Some Final Thoughts," is Tibbetts' collection of anecdotes about patients' late-life regrets and lessons, mostly the joys of old friends, laments about wasted time, unspoken words, and thwarted desires.  She compiled a list of the most common thoughts patients have voiced on their deathbeds, which Pachinko has excerpted here.

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live my life more boldly rather than subordinate myself to others.

2.  I wish that I had allowed myself to be happier.

3.  I wish I'd signed up for zumba.

4.  I never liked sushi--why did I eat it?

5.  Finally, a way to get away from those 1-800-Get-Thin ads.

6.  Wow.  I would never have picked Lance Bass as the gay one.

7.  Is that white light an Energy Saver?

8.  In the "plus" column, I'll get to see the Ramones reunion.

9.  I wonder if I should have given Tiger more time to work out his marriage problems.

10. 25 bucks a month more and I could've had the 52" hi-def.

11. Resume?  Reverend Collins never mentioned a resume.

12. Why did I waste all that time flossing?

13. Over there, beckoning me into the light...shit, it's Spiro Agnew.


14. Interesting--heaven looks just like the Extended Stay America in Lawrence, Kansas.

15.  Why didn't I ever think to look up the real lyrics to "Louie, Louie"?

16. In just a short while I'll find out why God bothered making Adam Sandler.

17. Life's a bitch and then you die.  And? 

18. What the hell is a "compote"?

19. What are the odds I'd get a crush on the hospice nurse?

20.  I'm really going to miss bacon.