Airlines unveil innovative new seating classes

The airline industry's push to lure high-paying fliers to the friendly skies with flatbed business seats and premium economy loungers is leaving economy-class passengers with less space.  A shift by carriers like American, Delta, United, and Southwest to expand higher-fare sections has shrunk the area devoted to coach on many big jetliners.  But this doesn’t have to be a bad thing.  

First, airlines slimmed seats to add more rows but, finding this still inadequate to generate the rider volume favored by management, they have initiated inventive new passenger arrangements suited to any budget.  Here is a preview of a few of the new passenger classes set to roll out in 2014-2015.

Free-Range class is a step below business
class but an added-value version of coach
For the passenger who finds staying seated an exercise in discomfort on a non-stop five-hour flight, Free Range seating offers an alternative, with non-assigned seating that allows a full range of movement.  This benefits circulation, and an increase in riders by 45%.  It also makes flying an interactive experience as seating is limited to those who can grab one when the music stops.

Hutch Class redefines
social networking
Hutch class, pioneered by Southwest and now standard on most domestic flights, brings a new meaning to creature comforts in a contemporary face-to-face traveling arrangement.  Floor grating above a gentle, sweet smelling bed of locally farmed alfalfa hay makes those awkward trips to the restroom a thing of the past.

Veal Class compartment is
loaded onto plane
Passengers who value privacy will delight in these individual, face-forward, single flier compartments.  A luxuriously appointed stall prevents fliers from leaning, dozing or otherwise bothering their fellows by holding them safely in place.  Food and drink carts?  No problem!  A rotating feeder chute moves meals and beverages along at a steady pace throughout the flight, often increasing the passenger’s BMI by 30% by the time they reach their destination.  It’s win-win in these nutrition-conscious times.

Lambing Shed seating affords
ample room for families
Lambing Shed
The lambing shed concept delivers passengers to their respective sections via a long, singlewide chute.  Once there, they are afforded more legroom, a place to recline, and ample room for their often-noisy offspring.  On a full flight, this can seem cramped, but for those who don’t survive the flight they can become a delightful, gourmet repast for First Class diners.

Brood Box class is for the
veteran flyer who places
value above amenities 
Brood Box
Brood Box class uses a bee-keeping model for getting the most passengers into the smallest amount of space.  Passengers lie supine for the duration of the flight in a slimmed down MRI-style compartment designed with the “red eye” flier in mind.  Music, nitrous oxide, tubal nutrition and catheters make the hours pass like—hours. 

As part of a growing movement to lower airlines’ labor-intensive overhead, flight attendants have been replaced with Border Collies, who lead passengers to their seating, keep them in order, and provide constant attention.  These collies are dedicated employees who will work long hours doing what they love without suffering the indignities of human help, who require layovers, time off, vacations, and benefits.

As U.S. Airways noted, the implementation of these new passenger perks inaugurates “a new golden age of air travel.”


  1. Is brood class downstairs with the luggage or did you forget the bonus bonus class? Great article Pachinko.

  2. Is brood class downstairs with the luggage or did you forget the bonus bonus class? Great article Pachinko.


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