Wisconsin Woman Claims Cain Never Groped Her

A Wisconsin woman who was an executive assistant at the National Restaurant Association in the 1990's has come forward to state that presidential candidate Herman Cain didn't touch her.

"He never put a hand on me, and I worked with him for years," said Marta Kinsley, 48, of Waukesha. "If he had, I'd of smacked the s@#t out of him.  Put his ass in the hospital.  And I don't need money to shut my yap.  They'd be payin' me to stop beatin' on him."

Kinsley, who runs a non-profit group called Bitch, Stand Up For Yourself, claims to have heard rumors that Cain had "an eye for the ladies" but never actually saw him do anything that would constitute harassment.  "If I had, he'd be nursing two black eyes.

"Oh, I saw him flash that crocodile smile at the assistants and the women vendors, but 'player' he ain't.  He's as transparent as a goddam piece of Saran Wrap.  Any woman falls for that needs to get her sorry ass back to Dating 101."

As for claims by five women that they had received a settlement from the association to keep silent about the complaints, Kinsley was circumspect.  "You'd 'a had to pay me to let Herman put his arm around me and not use his head for a speedbag," she said. "And I don't need no Gloria All Wet --I can take care of my own business, thank you."