Jack Sprat and Wife Call it Quits After 374 Years

Kris and Bruce Jenner Confirm They Separated a Year Ago" Fox News headline


Hollywood - Celebrity nursery rhyme husband Jack Sprat has filed papers to end his 374-year marriage to his wife, Gail.   Mr. Sprat cited irreconcilable differences.  The Sprats, who took their vows in England, became international figures when their contrasting dietary habits became a paradigm for successful marriage. 

Mr. Sprat, who ate no fat throughout his relationship with Mrs. Sprat and has been credited as the founding father of the vegan movement, was completely delighted to find, ages ago, that his wife had no such dietary restrictions.  Their forays into efficient “team eating” became the stuff of legend, and the marriage brought them fame, several cookbook deals, and a Lifetime movie.   Lately there had been signs that the bond was fraying. Mr. Sprat had allegedly slid into a deep depression and "could no longer defend himself" against his increasingly volatile wife.

In 2010, Gail Sprat had a lap band surgery reversed, resuming the companionship of friends who “weren’t so freakin’ picky” when it came to epicure.  According to Jack Horner, a close family friend, they stayed married “for the sake of the legend, which brought them a big sum in licenses and endorsements.”   Horner would not elaborate.  Mrs. Sprat had recently cancelled her popular “Fifty Shades of Chocolate” traveling dessert party.

Information analysts at TMZ reported in August that Mr. Sprat was spotted club hopping in Hollywood with at least two Kardashian sisters and spent last Thursday evening over a long tearful dinner with Rebel Wilson at Osteria Mozza, seated at Mario Batali’s private table in the kitchen.  He reportedly consumed only two artisanal breadsticks and a bottle of Kona Nigari water.  

Later, Perez Hilton spilled the beans that Gail Sprat and her entourage  (including sous chef Georgie Porgie, rapper Little Tommy Tucker, and bestie Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater) took over three tables at Nobu, where they reportedly ran the check up to $28,000 not including the bar tab. 

The celebration was marred when a fight broke out between Mrs. Sprat and Courtney Love, at the next table, after Old King Cole lit up a pipe, taking the argument to La Cienega.  The disagreement picked up steam as it moved to Pink’s, where the police had to intercede when Mrs. Sprat, after punching Ms. Love unconscious, was denied service. 

Earlier this summer, an attempt at reconciliation with mediator Ina Garten fell apart, and the Sprats took separate suites at the Montage, where Mr. Sprat was seen loading his bags into a convenience van Thursday morning. 

Spokespeople for the couple would not return calls for a comment.