Teens Occupy Empty Congressional Chambers, Fix ACA Website

A group of 125 teenagers from government classes of high schools in the Washington, D.C. area occupied the empty congressional chambers Thursday.  Before capitol police could regain control, the young people had formulated a comprehensive immigration plan, created a timetable to eliminate the budget deficit, got the Affordable Care Act website up and running, and passed a jobs plan 104-17, with three abstains and one kid who couldn’t care less.

  The students were on a field trip to witness congress in action, but the building was empty for lunch.  Disappointed, the group decided to “make the day worthwhile” by locking out all but their classmates and pushing chewing gum in the lock holes.   They also toilet papered the chambers and had a “ break for karaoke” at the speaker’s podium.  The entire event was over in less than two hours.

“Nobody was there, so I said to another kid, dude, let's get some [things] done,” said Tyrone Steele, 15, a sophomore at Archbishop Carroll High School.  "We don't all know each other, but we know what's fair and what's [not]," Steele said. 

Curtis Fields, an independent specialist on economics and government who analyzed the documents for the NSA, called the teens’ accomplishments “trailblazing.”  “It’s all workable, and it’s all stuff I would’ve never thought of,” Fields said.  "This is real leadership."

Police stormed the building when the kids let in a Domino’s driver bringing several dozen pizzas.  No one was hurt in the altercation.  All the teens were arrested then released to parents.  Faculty members and chaperones are still being questioned.  Most pressing was the question of how they got so much done in such a short time.

“A lot of us can hack and write code,” said Gemma Shepherd, 16, a Thurgood Marshall High School Junior, “so the insurance website was fully functional in about 20 minutes. I don't get what the problem was, but if the people who made the site are like my dad, they probably have trouble programming their DVR."  She shook her head.

“The rest of us are on the speech team and the Youth Economics Society, so debate-and-vote just comes naturally,” Shepherd said.  “We would’ve finished sooner except we had a little trouble trying to agree on the pizzas,” she added.

House Republicans quickly nullified all the student-created legislation and ordered the website seized until there were assurances that it was “back to not working.”