“What’s in a name? That which we call a Bowl…”

In an announcement freighted with meaning this Super Bowl Week,  Farmers Insurance Monday made a $700-million deal with the city of Los Angeles for a  proposed football stadium to be known as Farmers Field in downtown, adjacent to the Staples Center and the Nokia complex.  The news has ignited a lively discussion of the “branding” of sports venues by corporate sponsors.  

With cities strapped for cash like never before, corporations have stepped in to help.  And where once a baseball field would be named for a beloved player or coach, or a community center for a local philanthropist, venues are now opportunities as high-profile PR zones. AT&T Park, Honda Center, and Chase Stadium are all testaments to the successful merger of capitalism and the commoditization of good old fashioned team spirit. 

The practice can be a dicey one.  Anaheim, California’s Edison Field became Arrowhead Pond, which became Honda Center.  And who can forget the afternoons of pleasure spending the family’s nest egg at Enron Field?  But now, with the economy rebounding at the top, what could be better than to revive your hometown venue with a little help from a multi-national corporation? 

After no small amount of research, Pachinko has uncovered some of the less successful corporate partnerships and their proposed "brand statements."  The names of the associated cities have been omitted to protect the citizens.  So break out the Doritos (from Frito-Lay, proud sponsors of the Cheetos Pavilion)!

Blockbuster Casino:  “The Luck Stops Here.”

Forest Lawn Field:  “Now That’s What I Call a Season Ticket!”

Apple iPark: “Just Like Being in the World.”

Amway Chapel

Zillow Field:  “Because We Know What It’s Worth to You”

Trident Stadium:  “Long-Lasting Flavor, Stuck Under Your Seat”

T-Mobile Stadium: “More Bars, Fewer Dropped Balls”

Lipitor Square Garden

Skoal Hockey Rink:  “Chewed, Blued, and Tattooed”

Durex Motor Speedway: “Where the Rubber Meets the Road.”

Netflix Opera Hall: “Unlimited Arias, $8.99 a month.”

Ronco Megaplex: “Not Just Movies—There’s More!”

Sara League Baseball Camp: “It’s a Piece of Cake”

Cirque du Olay

Red Bull Community Theatre: “Give us 20 Minutes, We’ll Give You Everything by Andrew Freakin’ Lloyd Weber” 

Krispy Kreme Women’s Correctional Facility: “Hot Donuts Now.”

Oakland Raiders’ Massengill Park:  “A Venue to Match Our Fans”

Circuit City Center:  “Your Best Buy for Family Fun!”

Tylenol-Cowboys Stadium: “You Think You’ve Got a Headache”

Have a great Super Bowl Sunday!