Christine O’Donnell: The Proust Questionnaire

The Tea Party-supported Delaware Republican candidate for the senate has taken center stage in this year’s mid-term elections.  Here, exclusively, we present her Vanity Fair Proust Questionnaire, where she sounds off on love, lust, and Tolkien.

What is your idea of perfect happiness?

Seeing Yahweh’s name in my inbox.

What is your greatest fear?

Waking up between Karl Rove and Eddie Izzard.

Which historical figure do you most identify with?

Frodo.

Which living person do you most admire?

Kathy Ireland.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?

Reason.

What is your favorite journey?

Anything with Steve Perry.  

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

Consistency.  Maybe afterglow.           

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

Crushing tax burden.  Finger the Fig.  Chlamydia.

What or who is the greatest love of your life?

I’m on the fence between Edward or Jacob.

What is the lowest depth of misery?

The day Wham broke up.

When and where were you happiest?

The day I got my first wand.

Which talent would you most like to have?

The ability to turn Bill Maher into a newt.

What is your current state of mind?

I guess that’d be Delaware on the cusp of DC. 

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

Redefining “lust.”

What is your most treasured possession?

My Glock 9mm.

Where would you like to live?

Middle Earth.

What is your favorite occupation?

Senator.  Or philologist.  Or Queen of the Shire.

What is your most marked characteristic?

Truthiness.

What do you value most in your friends?

Compliance.

How would you like to die?

Of laughter!  No, wait--a brain aneurysm.

If you could choose what to come back as, what would it be?

A unicorn.

What is your motto?

“I’m here.  I just don’t know why I’m here.”