Facebook to Add New “Reaction” Buttons to Site

Palo Alto, CA – In response to an increasingly shrill political landscape and a demand for more specific single-button responses in addition to “Like” and “Share,” the social networking website Facebook will add three new “reaction” buttons to its pages by November 1^st. 

Chief Operating Officer Sheryl Sandberg said the new buttons will be designated as WTF (I don’t understand), STFU (I disagree with your point), and GFOH (Stop kidding me). 

The three were culled from tens of thousands of suggestions by Facebook’s users and were chosen to “enhance and encourage expression based on a bold new brand of cultural etiquette.”   Users had complained that the “Like” button was too limiting, and Facebook’s own suggestion of a “Don’t Like” button carried “the freight of victimization.”

“We want to empower our users to speak their minds, and these new choices will facilitate that without wasting more of their employers’ valuable time,” Sandberg said. 

Button nominations that made the final list before being eliminated were NFL (Nobody listens), ESAD (I didn't care for that), UR1DMSOB (That was not very smart of you to say), and NOBDGVSASHT (Frivolous post). 

“We were blessed with a bounty of choices,” Sandberg added,  “and tried to keep the level of exchange light and on a positive note, although my personal favorite was IWNTUDED (I find your existence offensive).  Mark (Zuckerberg) thought that might be a little harsh, lol.”