Whitman Buys Brown From Democratic Party

Sacramento, CA – In a surprise move just 53 days before state elections, California gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman has announced the purchase of rival Edmund G. Brown, Jr. in a cash-and-stock deal.  Whitman made the purchase as part of an overall strategy to cover all bases in her first election campaign.  The California Democratic Party had been jockeying to sell Brown since his candidacy was announced on March 1st.

No details of the exact purchase price were made public, but insiders claimed that the 54-year-old former eBay CEO was able to secure Brown for approximately $38 million. The acquisition of the California attorney general puts Whitman within striking distance of the governorship.  A Whitman aide commented that the purchase of Brown is “ another example of Meg’s ambition and take-no-prisoners leadership approach.” 

“Jerry’s purchase was considered early on as he’s not only a valuable commodity, but he's collectable,” a Democratic National Committee member said.  “She got him at a fairly low price, and his value is expected to rise the closer we get to November.”  Rumors that Brown would be given a makeover and “flipped” before the election have been circulating in Sacramento for weeks, and the purchase brought that closer to reality. 

Whitman, a political novice, has spent a record $119 million on her campaign according to public records filed with the election commission, which Whitman had tried to buy in early June  (she settled for the purchase of a state building in Fresno).  While Brown didn’t officially announce his candidacy until he was almost certain to lose, Whitman began her candidacy in late 2008, the first year she ever “seriously” voted.  She had cast votes in the past, she said, but set her civic duty aside for years “after Justin lost to Kelly.” 

Brown’s office had no comment on the acquisition, but California insiders speculated that the former governor had been “in play” for some time.   “They were just waiting for the price to come down relative to his value to the campaign,” a state senator said, requesting anonymity.  “And Jerry’s shrewd.  He’s not going to give himself away,” he said. 

On a presumably unrelated eBay posting that went online Tuesday, an item listed as “free-thinking 72-year-old male with great ideas; knows ins and outs of budgeting, alliances, and union negotiations” started bidding at $4.3 million.  There were three bids so far, with “52 days, 11 hours,” left until the final sale.